CPAP

Ok... So I may not have the best parental advice. It may be because I have no experience at all with it. So, I will tell you about my latest "thing":

I have recently been diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I was reluctant at first to admit that I might suffer from this. Even though I have been told by others that my snoring might be a little loud, and my friends have told me that they noticed I stop breathing sometimes when I am asleep. I was sure that the reason I was getting up one hundred and two times a night to use the restroom was because I drank too much before I went to bed. Apparently when you stop breathing, your muscles contract in order to wake you up. This presses on your bladder and makes you have to use the bathroom. Who knew?

My doctor thought I should have a sleep study. This is when you go to a sleep clinic and sleep with all these electrode things on your head and other parts of your body. They have a camera, so the technician can watch you sleep from another room. There is no clock in the room on purpose. You can ask my sister how important it is for me to have a clock. It is not exactly the easiest place to fall asleep. I have talked to people who said they had no problem falling asleep in this environment. I on the other hand knew I would be nervous. My Doctor prescribed ambien to me, and I took a pill after the technician hooked me up to all these wires and things. I then used the restroom and saw myself in the mirror. I looked like something out of some Sci-fi movie or something.

I couldn't fall asleep. The technician had to unhook me from some stuff so I could use the restroom again, and I took ANOTHER sleeping pill. Then the technician had to make sure the wire connected to my foot was on correctly. I was laying in the bed and thought it might be helpful if I put my foot closer to him. He bent over at the same time, and I ended up kicking him in the YOU KNOW WHERE! My technician gritted his teeth and smiled acting like nothing had happened. I was laying there all drugged up feeling a little bad.

Apparently I do stop breathing a lot when I am sleeping. In order to prevent a heart attack or stroke in bed I get to use what is called a CPAP. That is me in the picture above getting ready to sleep for the night. I am still trying to get used to wearing the mask while I sleep, and it is getting easier. I have heard that after a couple of weeks of sleeping with the thing on, I will have all kinds of energy and stuff. I can't wait!

By the way... How are you planning to spend your stimulus checks?

Parenting Advice #4

The thing about teenagers. Man if I had the answers for how to effectively deal with them, I would probably have more money than Dr. Phil. They are such an interesting bunch. It is almost like dealing with two year olds. First you will go through the terrible twos which inevitably corresponds with the terrible threes. Then you will have a few years where everything seems to be going smoothly until the terrible teens. Teenagers are starting to understand that they are independent creatures, but they are still dependant on adults to guide them. I guess the trick is to let them think they are making their own decisions while you are guiding them. Also, remember that if you are talking to your teenager, that you have to allow them to respond before your rambling turns into a lecture. I remember very vividly that if my parents were lecturing me, I would be thinking about my plans for the evening or who I needed to call. I completely tuned them out. This skill of acting like I was paying attention when I wasn't also really helped me out through college. So, if your teenager is simply smiling and nodding and giving really good eye contact while you are trying to get an important point across to them, you may want to ask them to clarify something you said. It is important to be gentle with your guidance of teenagers because they are really smart little buggars who pretty much want to do the opposite of everything you tell them. So if your teenager is actually reading this blog, you might want to tell them the opposite of what you want them to do and then they might try to do the opposite of that which is really what you want them to do. Or tell them what you really think they should do, and they will be thinking you are really just trying to trick them, so they WILL do what you said, and it will be what you really wanted them to do. Just like your two year old, your teenager needs lots of hugs. Just don't hug them in front of anybody. Also, teenagers need things. They need cars when they turn 16 (If they have really good grades!), and computers (that you can monitor), and allowances, and responsibilities. Now that I think about it... teenagers are a snap!
(I take no responsibility for the outcome of any advice I give unless it turns out how you wanted it to.)